If you like to read, and enjoy quirky, welcome. There are about 30 random things here for you. After you read a short story you may even find some personal comments/insights! The main purpose of creating this blog is for writers. I see so much written about writer's block, and honestly, I don't have it. Occasionally, I write short stories, longer stories, books, plays, one act plays, monologues, and sometimes I even think one is good enough to submit somewhere. Of course, when you submit a story to a magazine that receives 200 stories a month and publishes five, you'd better enjoy the process of writing. I'm not suggesting that I'm a good writer, merely that I can sit down and just start writing.

It is important to write, to constantly be working on your art. If you are constantly plagued by writer's block, perhaps you are being too selective in what you write about. With that in mind, I wanted to share with you some examples of my writing, from someone who can write all the time. Occasionally the topics are a bit strange, but I don't let that slow me down, I love to write and get to a finished product. Hopefully, by looking at some examples, you will say to yourself that phrase that all artists who visit MOMA in NYC say: "Well, I can do this!" That would be good, because you can! One of my posts is about a talking tomato. (You have to be able to do better than that!)

In part I'm trying to get some of my stuff in one place, so keep in mind I never claimed it was going to be an incredible read. You can decide that. I will tell you that occasionally I have a story in me that seems to fit the goal of a publication, and I try to write specifically with that goal in mind. Lately I've been considering publications that publish nonfiction memoirs, so some of the entries you'll find here will have that flavor. Perhaps this is a way to get past writer's block - find a publication looking for something that you'd like to write. It seems like memoir-based publications may be a good place to start, because we're all experts in our own families. I'm using a blog here to share some of the things I've written; the blog format is not ideal, so you need to poke around a little at old posts, to see if you can find a story or something else that may interest you.

Two last items. None of these are finished products. I usually get to a point where I have something written, and then stop. If it is something I may decide to submit for some reason, I'll finish formatting, following the specific rules of the magazine or organization (the rules are alwaysdifferent). If you do see something in here that you may be interested in using, don't hesitate to contact me.

So welcome to my blog. Welcome to my writing. Write, people, write! It feels good.

Please also consider getting a copy of my first book, Saturday Night at Sarah Joy's. All Royalties go to the Hurricane Sandy New Jersey Relief Fund. Please check out the book's blog at:

Thank you!

© 2012 John Allison

Friday, August 24, 2012

You're Still Talking (a short monologue)

Hi.  My name is John.  I'm an introvert.  You probably don't understand people like me, but I think I know you pretty well.  People light up when you enter the room.  You wish there were more days when you could go out and just dance the night away. You're like the majority of the population, but not like me.  You're an extrovert.

Have you ever heard someone talk about their teenage daughter - the little chatterbox who will not shut up?  They're labeled cute but annoying.  Anyone ever tell you about the daughter who simply won't talk at all?  Parents are usually concerned about them.  But these are two ends of a very real spectrum of personalities.  You need to understand that neither needs medication . . . well, maybe all teenagers need medication . . . but not for this part of their personality.  Neither is trying to be unreasonable.  The quiet one is just as healthy as the yacky one; you just need to understand that when she's quiet, she's thinking, or in a thinking-like state.

I want to explain introverts to you, because we really are misunderstood and extroverts often don't quite know what to do with us.

When I walk into a room, actually, when I'm dragged into a room, it's a bit painful because I know what's going to happen next.  If you try to say something nice to me like "How are you doing?", I'll probably return with something that will kill the conversation like "Still alive", or maybe just growl.  Small talk - we just can't do it.  Sometimes we drown in discussions that are 100% content free.  You talk; you smile.  We wonder if, like the Road Runner, we can call the Acme Safe Company and have one dropped on you, just to make you stop.  We prefer to spend blocks of time alone and quiet.  We suffer through small talk, but can do just fine in front of a large group.  We do enjoy substantial conversations - we're not antisocial.  We're also not serious or shy, or rude or arrogant.  That's may be how we appear, but those labels are wrong.

I like being around people, but if I have to be social for an hour, I'm going to need a day of quiet to recover.  It's not because I'm depressed; being alone with my own thoughts is just what I do.

The most important difference to understand is that introverts think - we think before they speak; extroverts speak to think, it’s how they organize their thoughts.  That's why your meetings always last six hours.  You figure out who you are by interacting with other people - like puppy dogs.  Extroverts assume that people always like to have them around (like puppy dogs) - they can't imagine that anyone would want alone time.  I tried explaining this to an extrovert once, but they only listened for a few seconds then went back to jumping and yelping.

There have been some famous introverts in history.  Jean Paul Sartre is quoted as saying "Hell is other people at breakfast."  Get the idea?  The great Calvin Coolidge, introvert god, said, "Four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still" - his polite way of saying "just stop talking!"

You need to understand the differences between us, because I'm not alone.  I've read that introverts make up about 25% of the population.  According to an Internet site, we're "a minority of the regular population but a majority of the gifted population".

We do have you to thank for cell phones - because you couldn't talk about nothing constantly with a phone only at your house, and hold down a job.  It's so much better now that you can talk to your friend about having your period while you're in the grocery store and I'm trying to pick out spaghetti sauce.  Thanks. Sometimes you invade our lives.  Of course that's nothing compared to your singing.  It was great to spend $250 to watch Springsteen lip sync to your singing.  Did you all get together before the show and decide to surround me, then sing your hearts out even though you didn't know the words?  When the crowd drowns out the performer, why are we there?  Wouldn't just having an iPod on stage be cheaper?

My mailman always shares neighbor mail with me, and some of it I return.  Catalogs I keep.  I got one the other day that sold a wooden sign to hang in your home - it must be the extroverts' credo - probably on the back of all of your drivers' licenses.  It was a celebrate life sort of decoration.  To me, it was instructions for creating hell at home.  DANCE, SING, LOVE, LIVE.  It said, "DANCE like no one is watching."  People, I don't want you to do it and I don't want to do it.  "SING like no one is listening."  Ditto.  "LOVE like you have never been hurt before."  I guess "LOVE like you're stupid" just didn't look right.  "LIVE like every day is your last."  If I did that I'd be arrested before the sun came up.  Too bad they ran out of wood before they could write, "SMOKE like this is the best dope you ever had!"  Are the people who write these things serious?

In my life I only know of one occasion where an introvert won an argument.  Hotel doorknob hangers now say,  "Do not disturb."  The first ones, written by an extrovert, said, "I'm Sleeping, but Hey, Come on In, Lets Party!"

If you're living with an introvert, I ask you to do a few things for me.  First, understand - it's not a choice but an orientation (yes, it's a phrase used by introverts too).  Second, when we're quiet, don't ask, "What's the matter?" And third, don't say anything else either.  I hope this helps.

© 2012 John Allison

Shamelessly stolen from the Internet:

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